The End (Or a New Beginning)

"Love is playing every game as if it's your last" -Michael Jordan

     As I am ending my high school career, it is only appropriate to look at all the moments of my past. I also think to myself, is there anything in my past that I regret. Are there moments that I wish I did differently. Did i appreciate the time that I had. Connecting MJ's quote to my life, did I cherish the moments that I had in high school, and not take them for granted. I am not saying I fell in love with high school. First of all, not many people will admit to you that they love high school. Most people say that can't wait to get out of here. Part of me wants to get out of here, but part of me will miss it.
     I have been asked, what will you miss from high school? Honestly there is only one thing; I will miss my brothers on my athletic teams. I know that you could tell me that there are dozens of things that I should miss more. I won't even honestly miss my friends. I will only miss my teammates. After my soccer season, I sat around and constantly thought what I was going to do with myself. Afters spending years and long hours with those boys, it finally came to an end on one gloomy October night. My winter offseason was hell. I cried. I cried because I missed my boys. Fortunately, I am still in my volleyball season currently. But the thought keeps running through my head, what will I do when thats over?
     I could be as depressed as I want to be at this moment, but that is not the person I am. I will not sit here and have pity. Why not, because I have no regrets. Sure I have made mistakes, but those mistakes have made me a better person, they have helped me grow. As you know, I made many mistakes in handling my concussion. Additionally, I have made many mistakes inside of school with my classes. I have also made mistakes in personal relationships. And of course, I've made mistakes on the field and on the court. However, no one in this world is perfect. No one is an outsider to that fact. We all make mistakes. It is not the mistakes that define us, but how we pick ourselves up from those mistakes. Get up and hold your head up high.
     While this is the end of a significant time period in my life, it is also the beginning of a new chapter, a chapter that I am eager to enter. I continue to want to live my life the way I have been living it so far. I live by the motto Just Do It, and I also live my life with no regrets. Going forward, that will continue. I wish you all good luck in your future endeavors. And in the words of Ron Burgundy, stay classy.

Standardized Testing

     It's that time of the year again! Welcome to hell week. The week of AP testing. AP testing really makes me look back on myself and others, especially in my school community. I live in a fairly affluent community. I am privileged to have the financial capability to take these Advanced Placement tests. This isn't just about the AP tests, it is also about all other standardized testing too. By living in an extremely affluent neighborhood I am able to take these tests. What about the impoverished kids looking in from the outside?

     I recently watch the movie Stand and Deliver. To me, the movie explained the hardships that are currently going through the lives of kids in such neighborhoods as Los Angeles. However, it also sheds light into my colleagues in schools much nearer to me, such as Chicago. Or even people within me own school. I took the ACT 4 times. One of them was payed for by the school, while the other times I had to pay for it by myself. Many students are only able to take it one time in their life because of their financial situations. It is a clear advantage to take the ACT more times. You tend to do better the more times that you take it. In regards to AP testing, as seen in the movie, some kids are just flat out not able to take the AP test. This restricts the, in many ways in the future. A sad event.

     These impoverished kids are looking from the outside in for most of their lives. However, strictly speaking in regards to standardized testing, their impoverishment restricts them in the future. These kids are then limited to attending high ranking universities. It is all a sad domino effect. The question is, what can be done about it. We seem to not care about these outsiders.

Why?

     This week I have been around a lot of grieving. My community as well as surrounding communities have experienced a tremendous amount of loss in the past week. Therefore, I would like to offer up this blog as a memory to each of those individuals.
     The first loss that occurred happened last Wednesday night. A student at Wheaton Warrenville South High School took his life after his volleyball match. He was on the team at WWS which is one of the top teams in the state. We played their team the weekend before at a tournament and were going to their tournament that very next day. The tournament was postponed by one day due to the events. That next day we were slated to play of all teams WWS. They looked visibly distraught. Words cannot describe what that community was going through.
     The second loss occurred at Stevenson High School. A girl there took her own life. While I am not so much familiar with her or the case, I experienced something quite significant. I saw one of my classmates today visibly distraught. She asked me to take notes for her. She looked off. It wasn't until later that I found out she was going to attend the funeral. We cannot place judgement on individuals. We must look after one another.
     The third loss I would like to mention is the one that happened yesterday by a student at my very own school. Once word started to spread, our community started to weep. Again. This was the fourth loss in our community in the past 9 months. Our community has been tired of such experiences. We do not want any more losses. However, it is inevitable. It's just trying to prevent that next one.
     So this leads to the eternal question, why? Why does this have to happen? Unfortunately, I hold no answers. What we as collective individuals must do is keep an eye out for each other. My psychology teacher always says, "YOU matter". I posted that as my facebook status. I want everyone to know that they truly do matter, and that each individual is significant. I did not post a quote because I have something special to offer today. My very own quote. I leave you today with this:

Kiss who you love like it's the first time and there's no second chance. Hug the ones you don't want to let go. Give your heart to someone you love and hold their heart even closer.

Concussion

I have never really opened up to what happened last year when I had my concussions. After writing my last blog post, I thought I would share my story. Here it goes:

     September 22, 2011, a day that I will always remember…sort of. That was the day that I sustained my concussion. During my soccer game, I went up in the air for a fifty-fifty ball. As I went for the ball, a player from the other team undercut me. We both jumped, and as I snapped my head forward, the left side of my head made contact with the ball. However, the right side of my head made a violent impact with the opponents head. I was sick at the time; I had a headache and flu like symptoms. Therefore, I did not associate my raging headache with the collision. A couple days passed until I went to the trainer, and received a diagnosis of a concussion. I was told to sit out a couple weeks. A couple weeks passed and I wasn’t feeling better. However, playoffs were coming and we were seated to play our biggest rival. I was going to do anything I could to be on the field for that game. I reported to the trainers, told them I was fine, and I was slated to take the concussion test. I wasn’t going to let this opportunity slip by. I “passed” the test. I had gotten what I wanted, the opportunity to play in that playoff game. In that game, I proceeded to sustain two or possibly three more concussions. I compete by the saying, “over my dead body.” There was no way I was coming out of that game.

     Headache, dizziness, nausea, fatigue, confusion, sensitivity to light and sound, sleeping problems, concentration issues, and a mental fog set it. I was told to take it easy, to shut down. This was extremely frustrating to me. How can you tell a student that operates on such a high level to shut down? As the weeks progressed, I wasn’t getting any better. I finally decided to see multiple doctors. Every doctor told me the same thing; I would just require more time to recover. I was told that I was one of those outlying statistics that took longer to get over a concussion. I did not feel like a person at that moment, I felt like a statistic. Each concussion is different, and I was baffled at how all my doctors were telling me I just needed time. After two months I still made no progress. I started vestibular therapy. It gave me something to look forward to and work hard at. I remember being at therapy and people would stare at me. From the outside, I had no visible injuries. On the inside however, I was not me. That was frustrating. People doubted my concussion. I even felt that my teachers doubted me. I felt alone.

     When second semester hit in January, I knew I could not fall behind anymore in school. Therefore I returned to my classes. What faced me now was the daunting task of an entire semester of make-up work. I had to drop my first semester History class, and make it up during summer school. In my other classes, I was able to work together with my teachers to set up a makeup plan. In reality, I was taking two semesters of courses during one semester.  Officially, I did not complete junior year until summer school ended. When that day happened however, I was more than happy. I had survived junior year in one of the worst ways possible.

     While recovering, I began to question myself; would I ever be the same person I was before my concussion? The concussion changed me, but in a good way. My academic skills have certainly returned to me. It is my personality that has changed. This path towards recovery brought tremendous amounts of stress and anxiety on me. I learned how to deal with it. My recovery certainly gave me more confidence. If I was able to survive such an elongated ordeal, I was able to do anything. I had no control over how all of this happened, or how long it took. At the end of the day, the only thing that a person has control over is themselves. In my case, it was what I did with my recovery time and my attitude during recovery. I kept my head up high and I put in a tremendous amount of effort to come out of this situation better and healthier learner and person.   

Psych

“I'm not a big fan of psychoanalysis: I think if you have mental problems what you need are good pills. But I do think that if you have thinks that bother you, things that are unresolved, the more that you talk about them, write about them, the less serious they become.” –Stephen King

     Sigmund Freud instituted us with the idea of Psychoanalysis. It is grounded in multiple parts. Parts include: a person’s development are based on his or her childhood, actions are caused by the unconscious mind, the mind creates defense mechanisms to repress memories, and repressed memories can be brought back to the conscious through coaching. However, I would like to argue a point here that I do not necessarily believe, so please bare with me.

     I am not a believer in medicine. I hate medicine; I do not take it at all costs. I believe in natural recovery. The most recent time that I experienced the issue of medication was when I sustained me spell of concussions last year. After suffering through anxiety and depression issues after my concussions, I was told by doctors that I needed medication to help me. I am proud to say that aside from an occasional Advil, I took no medication to aid my recovery. If this were to happen again, I would not take medication. However, it is interesting to look at what would happen if I did take medication.

     Stephen King would be on the side of medication in my case. However, Freud would not be. Freud would argue that I should have sought counseling to talk about my issues to get through my anxiety and depression. Fortunately that is what I did, and it did help me significantly. But it is always interesting to wonder about the other side. If I did take medication, my recovery could have been expedited. But that was never an option for me. I am extremely happy where I ended up.

     As a student in high school, I am an outsider to what medication can really do to you. My dad likes to act as an expert in the field; he is far from it. He works with computers, not medication. He is the driving force against me taking meds. However, he is also an outsider to the fact. He has read many books on psychology. He has also read some books on Freud. He agrees with Freud’s psychoanalytical theory. He is the one that suggested I should seek counseling instead of medication. This brings up the point, should you listen to a large group of outsiders? I could have listened to my doctors, who I would consider the insiders on the topic. However, I instead listened to a group of outsiders, who knew little about concussions. In the end, I turned out all right.

     I would quickly like to also make the point that every person is an outsider when it comes to the topic of concussions. No one really knows a thing about concussions. Each one is different, and concussions are ever evolving. The field is expanding, but after suffering my own fair share of concussions, I would not even consider a neurologist an insider on concussions.

U.N.

"The whole basis of the United Nations is the right of all nations-great or small-to have weight, to have a vote, to be attended to, to be part of the twentieth century." -Adlai E. Stevenson

     This weekend I had the opportunity to attend the Model UN conference hosted by the University of Chicago. The event, held at the Palmer House of Chicago, brought together youth from around the world. In essence, the goal of the conference was to give the participants an experience to what actually working at the UN means. With over a thousand participants, delegates represented nations all over the world in dozens of committees. While this gathering was only a mock event, it certainly did shed light onto what an actual UN committee does. I stated to think about what powers the actual UN has, and what is the significance of the UN. My experience led to my findings.

     The quote by Adlai Stevenson does a great job in describing the goal of the UN. The purpose of the UN is to give every nation in the world an equal and fair opportunity in representing their own best interests. I came into the conference with this mindset. I was a delegate from the Czech Republic. Some of my colleagues however, were delegates from Eritrea. Unfortunately, everyone does not know where Eritrea is, let alone have heard of it. Eritrea is a perfect example of what a small country can do in the UN. Traditionally speaking, the large countries in the UN are the 5 permanent members of the Security Council: China, France, Russia, the United Kingdom, and the United States. I experienced first hand the power of these nations this weekend.

     As a delegate from the Czech Republic, I was neither a large nation with eternal power, nor a small unheard of nation. However, the fact that I was not apart of the Big 5 led to significant challenges in getting my resolutions passed. There were 5 original resolutions that were brought forward to the table in our committee this weekend. 4 out of the 5 were written by members of the Big 5. The truth is, smaller nations were not able to seriously address their own concerns. Well, these countries were allowed to speak on the floor, but their comments were not necessarily taken into high accord. The 5 resolutions later turned into 2. One co-written mainly by France and the US, while the other was mainly written by Russia and China. This just shows how influential and powerful large countries are in the UN.

     So the question becomes, what does it mean to be a small nation in the UN? Actually, let's look at it even differently. What does it mean to be a nation other than the Big 5 in the UN? Theoretically, and according to Adlai Stevenson, each nation should be given an equal opportunity of representation. While that may be true, not all countries are listened to. All of these other countries I would like to consider as outsiders. Being an outsider in the UN essentially means that it is extremely difficult for you to pass your own legislature. I experienced this challenge first hand this weekend. As the delegate from the Czech Republic, no one seemed to listen to me. Ever. I understand the theory behind the UN. Unfortunately, I do not believe it is successful it its execution. The UN was formed to make everyone feel equal and represented. That is not the case when there are outsiders within such an entity.

Who Controls What

"I don't have to be President. I don't have to be a senator. I just have to live with myself."-Chuck Hagel

     In light of the recent nomination by President Obama of Chuck Hagel as Defense Secretary, lets examine who the man is. First, a little background. Chuck Hagel is a Vietnam War Veteran. He knows what war is. He then ran for Senate from the state of Nebraska. After two terms in the Senate he retired, but not before making his own mark. I would like to examine two topics that seemingly are being strong critiques to his nomination. The first being his view on war, and the second being his opinion on the defense budget. Let us dive into those two issues.
     First, Hagel has been criticized that he is soft on war. Back when Bush was about to invade Iraq, Hagel stood up and said he opposed the invasion. He sited the possibility that Iraq might not welcome U.S. presence, and also Iraq might spiral into more violence after our entrance. Back when first making this comment, he was criticized by his fellow Republicans. Now, the issue is coming back. Republicans are calling this Republican soft on war. It is amazed me how you can criticize this man with two Purple Hearts, and a significant combat experience on being soft on war. The truth is, he is the only one that knows what war is. The staunch Republicans that have sat on their asses their whole life do not know what war is, and now they decide to criticize it. That is my first issue with the opposition to Hagel.
     The second issue is that Hagel is being criticized for slashing the defense budget if his nomination is confirmed. Let us examine this topic from multiple angles. Hagel knows what money is. He was a ranking member on the Committee on Banking, Housing, and Urban Affairs. His time in the Senate was largely spent on balancing and allocating money. To say he is incapable of controlling the defense budget is false; he can do it. The other issue that critics have made with cutting the defense budget is that it makes America week. The truth is, we will still be the strongest military force in the world, regardless of how much money the Pentagon has. We must realize that the world we live in today does not allow for free spending. The past five years have exposed our money issues. It is time we control that.
     Back to the quote, Hagel does not want to be a big name in politics. All Hagel has to do is live with the decisions he makes, something that I believe he is fully capable of. Hagel will not make decisions that benefit him or political hierarchy, he will make decisions that benefit the people. Also, I have a direct issue with the criticisms that Hagel has received about his views on war. This is a case where outsiders are wrong. I have been arguing that outsiders are usually neglected. However, this is a case where outsiders are wrong and should shut up. The Republicans in Congress that have no idea what war actually is are saying fight to the death. However, a man who has fought in war tells us to take a step back and consider war. He is not opposed to war, he only wants us to examine our decisions, and consider the consequences prior to our actions. Hagel will help with all of that.